I really have to update regarding the last two private posts about the wholllleee baby thing. Well basically that damn baby bug came back and I was hoping it was gone, but it wasnt. In fact it was pestering me more than ever, and of course the more it bugged me, the more I pestered JC about it. Well previously I had been challenging the question more often and especially trying to target like, what he was actually thinking, did he want a baby? why or why not? I needed to those answers in order for me to process and evaluate the situation. A simple, no, was not going to cut it for me.

Anywho...so we had a talk the other day because I was feeling more babyish than most days and sent him a text like "Hey...I'm not pregnant but I don't think I can wait 2 years " And he text me back "Hey did I leave my jump drive in the computer?".

Needless to say I was not too happy about that. I was actually irritated becasue it seemed more than lately, that he never wanted to even talk about kids AT ALL. I really thought he almost didn't want kids, ever.

Well I called him later to ask him about, and he was getting so defensive and he was yelling, WE CANT HAVE A KID, I JUST DONT WANT A KID. And he wouldnt give me a supporting answer or anything, and it drove me crazy. So of course I kept pushing the issue and he kept getting upset, and we just ended up hanging up on bad terms.

That night when I went home, I was clearly upset and he was trying to act like he didn't know...what could be the problem...but we did start actually talking about it.

And basically in his defesnive he said he really didnt think it was smart to have a baby now, since economoy is bad and I'm still doing my internship. But I told him...things will never be perfect...it will never be a better time than right now, BUT I can see that at least waiting until we know our jobs are secure would probably be helpful. Seeing the different perspectives, I think he sort of realized how much this really meant to me and he AGREED...we wouldnt have to wait 2 years...we may even want to do it next year 2010!!!

Now, I'm uberly excited but suddenly...I don't have the desire to do it as much now. Is it because the choice is out there? I think most women get like that, excited about it, and then when you get to actually put the birth control up....your like wow...are we really doing this?!!

I told my parents we were discussing babies and my step mom was like "Are you pregnant!! ??Are we going to grandparents!~!!!!!" I was like...no!! She said later that she thinks we are ready although ideally we should wait until we are married for at least a year, but since we've been together for a while (6 years!) it counters. I'm glad they support that, it makes me and I also Josh (I believe) feel more confident that we are making good choices.

SO...do I see us having a baby soon??? Probably not, to be honest, I seriously doubt 2010. Since we want to get a new car/SUV and we are taking two big vacation trips next year and I will be working part time at my job and also part time at the internship...will I really have alot of time to be trying to plan a baby? It really depends, and I told him too, I wouldn't really bring it up, he can just let me know when a good time comes, NOT A PERFECT TIME, but a good time and we can consider it seriously.

Wow...so glad I could get all that off my chest to him...and on here!

Ciao.

MOVE OVER BABIES!!

Mamma wants a new car! Yes, JC and I got into this discussion on Saturday, when he mentioned that we should look for a new car, to replace my old, yet withstanding, mercury cougar. I told him simply no, because of my 2 year pla---que. He said what plan? I thought you weren't living by plans anymore? I said I'm not. That's simply absurd, a plan! (I desperately need a plan!) However, now I told him we def. can not afford a used new car, it's a recession, I don't mind that I'm still paying on a 10 year old car...yes I am still paying on it. He argued that I should at least be flexible to the idea and keep my eyes open for a good deal. Well today, we glanced at the cars and wow, so many cheap cars!! I instanly fell in love with:

• 2008 Mazda iSport
• 2008 Dogdge Avenger
• 2008 Dodge Caliber

We called and did insurance quotes, and not bad ....(btw insurance was part of the 2 year plan...wait 2 years since my car would be paid off and then my insurance should be super low)

But EFF-- the plan! Mamma wants a new car now....maybe lusting after this new car will help take my desire off of a kid for while...

We are going to look at one for sure, the Mazda, but the rest...can wait until we really feel ready to purchase another. I hope soon!!!!!!

Ciao.


OH btw...I exploded and gushed over wanting a baby again to JC in the car last night...the timer starts again...no talking about babies until graduation....starts now...! (lol)